Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Growing Up Again

“You think you got into the team because of your abilities? Think again. The list was made by us and sent to the Gymkhana.”

“I always told you that this guy (referring to me) was not up to it. We should never have put his name on the list.”

“You cannot leave the post just because you want to. The Hall gave you the post... and you better live up to the name of the Hall.”

“We don’t tolerate any attitude. If we say so, not a single person in the Hall will talk to you. How would you like that?”

“If you can’t do it, quit. People will curse you for a few days and then they will forget it.”

“Your first priority is academics, you say? Then why the hell did you take up the post? I had warned you earlier...”

“Kid, I believe in you. You can do it.”

---

The first year in the Senior Hostel was a confusing and trying one. My extra-curricular ambitions had overlapped with the political ambitions of the Hall. And both of these bulldozed any academics ambitions that I might have had.

I had to make some choices then – the one between academics and extra-curricular being of foremost importance.

Yet, I was not ready to make a choice. I was too afraid and tried to keep one foot in each boat.

My seniors, like all seniors, tried to help me. They counselled, they advised; when they saw it was no use being soft, they were tough and unforgiving.

Unfortunately, I did not know whose advice to listen to. I wanted to win everyone’s heart with my actions and behaviour. I was always reminded of my years at junior school, where all the teachers adored me. But however much I tried, I could not find that loving care and guidance in my seniors’ behaviour towards me.

---

It took me some time to realize that I would need to earn that love.

I learnt that I needed to prioritize – not just for my own good, but for others too. My choices would affect the ambitions the others; and for this alone, I needed to act responsibly.

I learnt a lot of life from my seniors. The learning was tough but it was a part of growing up that was necessary for me. That time, I was afraid to discuss such stuff with too many people. But now, a good many years have passed. On my side, a sense of love and respect lingers on for my seniors. They too will have overlooked (or will overlook, in the future) my many flaws.

So now is a good time to write about the problems I used to face then. But the main reason why I write about those times is that currently I am in another phase of learning – another necessary learning curve. As some of you might have guessed, right now is not the correct time to dwell on the details. And to those of you who know, and are helping me on the way, I just have one thing to say – thanks.

13 comments:

Vivek Malewar said...

Talking about responsibility --

This was the biggest and the most important difference I saw in a student life and professional life. You're responsible, not just for yourself, but also for you team and your company. If you screw up - you dont just screw things for youself - you might also have screwed it up for entire company's business.

Cane-an said...

Whatever it is... Best of luck.
I did not know Second year in Patel hall was this tough for you...
My grades had also crashed in the third sem to their lowest and then some sort of sanity returned to my doings.
I have always felt that we all are like under-damped systems. When a new impulse happens, we all first over-react and then under-react till finally we reach equilibrium and learn how to deal correctly with the new situation. That's learning I'm afraid and its not a walk in the park.

Rohit Anand said...

life does throw you into places where you have to make choices. choices which fulfill different interests.
there were a lot of expectations from you then, but i guess you made your choice and everything went on well.
and i am sure you look at that phase as a learning/constructive one in your life.

Goutam Saha said...

Hmm...! I alwyas suspected it in the first part of your BTP. I think one can excel in both curricular and extracurricular activities if allowed to prioritize things for himself. Refering to this and your another post 'Happy Sad' at gskgp.blogspot.com

Pls.keep posting at regular interval. And my Hi to Kanan. Best-

Cane-an said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cane-an said...

Hi GS,
Though I am having a hard time guessing who you are but anyway....
Nice to receive your "Hi"

--Kanan

Goutam Saha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Goutam Saha said...

I am sorry, Kanan. I thought this was obvious or there was enough clue. Anyway, g is for Goutam, s is Saha. Our first intersection was through classes of MCS, in the 1st year of my 3rd spell at IITkgp. First one, way back in 1986... an unusual resident of B, 1st East, Patel Hall ... in fact our whole wing was somewhat different. I visit Kriti's blog quite often. Found some correlation in the recent post on a topic we are debating now here. Best -

If interested, for offbeat IITkgp current happenings (though the first one is posted in LAN, in such a way that it cannot be missed)

http://www.jagruti-kgp.blogspot.com/

http://vsc.iitkgp.googlepages.com/

Cane-an said...

Is that Prof. Saha?
Hello Sir.
Nice to meet you!

Goutam Saha said...

Yes, dear. Chasing Butterflies is also great and more regular than Point Blanc. Chased few other blogs in your fav list. They too are good. Best-

Anonymous said...

It takes a great resolve to take a decision like you did back then.

I'm still sorry that i could not support you completely on your bid for a second gig an year later.
Anyway as our babu said ppl make their choice and hopefully everything went on well.

kriti said...

@gate top

lovely comment... made my post worthwhile...

unfortunately i cannot be sure of your identity... a few more hints maybe?

and yes, as far as those decisions were concerned, everything did go well...

PS: i made my decision for the second stint at the gate top with a friend... was it you?

Anonymous said...

Well your sample space is small here. Our 'babu' should have been enuf.
anyway ...
the gate top counseling i was mentioning ws @ th end of 2nd yr b4 wing distributions.
No recollections of second stint on gate top. Might have been :).

Waise the gate top was a nice place... wasn't it ..
Ohh i'm feeling nostalgic.